That Way!

There’s days where I’m not quite sure what’s going through the Monster’s head.  As I’ve mentioned previously, he’s very good with literal use of language, with descriptive phrases about his environment or his immediate needs.  The part where we get frustrated – one of the places where he needs a lot of improvement and where speech therapy can hopefully do some good sooner rather than later – is when it’s narrative.

Language has always been one of the stumbling blocks.  When we were midway through his 2’s, we were having problems related to his using one-word phrases at most to describe moods and wants – it made it very hard to deal with him without his getting upset.  What little sign language we could get through with him wasn’t having any effect of improving his communication.  PIEs, as I mentioned, did a lot of good with twice-weekly speech therapy to get him to the point that he now uses canned phrases which he improvises on so he can express himself.

Since the end of his speech therapy in May, as predicted by his speech therapist (because getting alternative services in absence of ESY has been taking a while – we won’t, in fact, have them before he starts his special summer camp in two weeks), we’ve noticed regression in his verbal skills.  I’m frequently getting phrases like, “Can I have small, please?” or “brown!” in lieu of something more meaningful.  As far as I can figure, “Can I have small” is his asking for a small, normal-style cup of juice (as opposed to ‘juice box’, which is his straw cup or a literal juice box), and “brown” is “brownie”.  The latter, we only figured out because my wife heard him asking for “cook” instead of “cookie”.

But none of this tells us what he does and doesn’t really recall.  The Monster’s never had a good grasp on tense in his language – he tends to stick to the present active tense for when he’s interacting with his environment.

Saturday, though, I had to run some errands, and to give the wife a break (so she could rest and spend some solo time with the baby), I took the Monster with me.  For the most part, errands went fine and he behaved, albeit with the bribe of allowing him to have a brownie if he behaved for the two stops I had to make.  On our way back, I swung through a shopping plaza near our house to check in on Foursquare at the Starbucks because of their offer to donate $1 per check-in between the 1st and 10th to (RED) Rush to Zero.  It was when we were leaving that shopping plaza that he started to act up.

Monster: That way!

Me: What way?

Monster: THAT WAY!! *pointing behind with both hands over his car seat*

And then it dawned on me.  I’ve taken him to Starbucks there perhaps thrice in the last year for a treat – usually a brownie – when we’re out on boys’-time.  He has enough recall of it to remember that a) he’d been promised a brownie, b) that Starbucks is in the plaza, and c) that Starbucks == brownie.  We’ve had circumstances before where he’s shown awareness of historical patterns, but usually on ques – recognizing that he’s at school or home, leading us through the school to his classroom, telling us who he sees at school… but it was nice to see him having a more expanded awareness of where he was and what he expected to happen.

(And no, I didn’t buy him another brownie.)

On a very positive note, while we were walking to the classroom this morning when I dropped him off for pre-school, another of his classmates came up to him to say hello.  Rather than ignoring the little boy, he actually turned, made decent eye contact, and said hello back.  It’s progress.

That Way!

There’s days where I’m not quite sure what’s going through the Monster’s head.  As I’ve mentioned previously, he’s very good with literal use of language, with descriptive phrases about his environment or his immediate needs.  The part where we get frustrated – one of the places where he needs a lot of improvement and where speech therapy can hopefully do some good sooner rather than later – is when it’s narrative. Continue reading

IDEAs about November

Since the election season is just around the corner, and primaries are finally (mercifully) behind us, I’ve only just started considering who I intend to vote for in the upcoming general elections.  I should note that I’ve voted in every election – EVERY ONE – since I became eligible to vote in 1992, and I take seriously my responsibility to be an educated voter.

In the past, I’ve obviously considered other issues than autism – last time we voted for President, the Monster was coming up on six months old and we had no idea that something was wrong.  The last time we voted for Congress, Governor and our state legislature, he was just past two and we were just starting to grasp the concept that it could be autism (he’d just started intake with the Baltimore City Infants and Toddlers’ Program).  To be honest, autism hadn’t even entered into the realm of issues that I’d be considering positions on when I make my choices on that first Tuesday after the first Monday in November.  Over the last few days, though, I’ve been reading a couple of articles on various reputable websites and in responsible magazines that are giving me some substantial food for thought.

Continue reading

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Program

As I mentioned, we just recently passed our son’s fourth birthday.  This meant that his IFSP through the Baltimore Infants and Toddlers Program ended and he was transferred to an IEP through the Baltimore City schools.  Because he didn’t qualify for ESY, we weren’t willing to totally disrupt him by transferring him straight into the assigned program at the public school.

This did mean, though, that his schedule changed drastically anyway.  And even this wasn’t all sunshine and roses. Continue reading

Paperwork Out The Wazoo

The Monster’s school year ends a week from Friday.  After a week off (and believe you me, I’m not at all sure why there’s a week off), he’ll start two different morning-only camps – one that runs Monday-Wednesday-Friday for six weeks, and one that’s Tuesday-Thursday for eight.

For the last two years, we’ve sent him to the JCC summer camp.  The first year was to give him a good introduction to pre-school – he was going to be transitioning to their program there and at the time, we didn’t really have an inkling of what was going on – and the second was to keep things ‘constant’ between the two years of pre-school.  He needs more than just ‘play in the pool and sun’ time, though, so this year’s going to mark a real change for him. Continue reading

Food for Thought

As mentioned, the Monster is something of a picky eater.

When he was a baby, there wasn’t anything really that he turned his nose up at – he ate anything and everything presented to him (as babies are inclined to do).    This continued when he got out of the baby-food phase.  He’d happily eat just about anything put in front of him, which we thought was delightful.

And then it changed. Continue reading

The Monster Turns Four

A bit belatedly, we had our son’s fourth birthday party today.

Ethan, our son, has been nicknamed ‘Monster’ since two days after birth.  He was born perfectly normally, beautiful and healthy, at eight pounds, ten ounces – being so large, it seemed only natural to jokingly refer to him as ‘the monster’ at the time, and the nickname stuck.  (Admittedly, he is still a large child – at his latest checkup, he’s still weighing in at the 80+ percentile weight, and 90+ percentile height.)  If that method for referring to him bothers you, think more of the Sesame Street type of monster, soft and lovable, and you still have a pretty good idea of our son on his good days.

Turning four brought with it a host of issues.  Given our state’s funding for these things, he has to transition from the infant-and-toddlers programs offered by our city into the school system for his special education, a process that we’d been dreading for a while and postponing for as long as we were able.  Until his fourth birthday, he had been getting his services in our home, around his schedule at a mainstream, private preschool – as of his birthday, those services were cut off until the school year starts in August. We don’t qualify for extended school year – ESY – and we preferred to not cause a greater disruption by yanking him out of his preschool with four weeks to go.  Maybe deciding to postpone everything makes us bad parents, but I’d prefer to think of it as trying to work with his personality and his ability to absorb change rather than against it.

Turning four means getting ready for new beginnings.  He’ll be going to a speech program for the summer, three mornings a week, run by a local university.  The other two, he’ll be in a mainstream morning summer camp to keep him interacting with normally-developing kids for a chance at social interaction with his peers.  We’re also going to be – heaven protect us – trying to start toilet training him finally over the summer and moving him into his ‘big boy’ bedroom.  None of these things are going to be easy, and I think we’re both praying that it won’t be as hard as we can imagine in our nightmares.

Turning four… also means the occasional surprise, still.  He’s a very picky eater at times, and we’ve gotten used to offering him new foods, only to get rebuffed.  Tonight, though, after the party, after hot dogs and cupcakes and brownies and whathaveyou… when we turned our back for two minutes and got concerned when he was so quiet so long, we found he had picked up a strip of green pepper and was happily chowing away on it without complaint.  No badgering, no pushing.  I don’t think either of us even offered him one today, since its been met with failure before.  But there he was, eating a vegetable without a fight.

He’s four now, and for everything that we struggle with, for him, he’s still growing up bit by bit…