No one knows you, No one cares, Have fun…

One of the truisms about having children in general – and especially when you have children with special needs – is that being a parent can do horrible things to your relationship in terms of giving time for one another.

I’m not saying that I regret having kids – the Monster and R are wonderful critters who make life fun, and I adore being a father and spending time with them.  But, it definitely puts a cramp on spending meaningful time with my wife, both in terms of mood and energy, and when you factor in the attempts we make to still sustain independent lives for ourselves in addition to our marriage… it’s a lot.

So a while ago, the wife and I decided that we had to make an attempt on a regular basis to actually get away and spend time together. Continue reading

A Little Therapy…

It’s been a few months now of ABA for the Monster.

I’ll admit that… well, we came into it without my having a very good idea of what we’d get out of it, to be honest.  I’ve heard about ABA – applied behavior analysis – before, and we’d not availed ourselves of it because we didn’t know how to fit it into our lives.  That my insurance through work happens to pay for a lot of it was the kicker to get us to rearrange our lives to fit it in, and we’ve gone with the theory of ‘that which is not harmful and might work is worth trying’, so… Continue reading

Not-Quite-A-Cruise

Monster on the Seas!Long before the children were a thought, my wife and I managed to get away twice on cruises.  It’s fun enough to me – most of an all-inclusive coupled with actually getting to see different places – but as we’ve had children, that’s not been as much of a thought to me.  And then throw in the Monster’s Autism, which makes any trip scary enough… and we’ve not really gone anywhere.

So when Autism on the Seas announced that they were doing a ship-tour nearby, coupled with a discussion of their services, we jumped at the chance to both window-shop and hear about something that might make it possible. Continue reading

“You Keep Using That Word…”

I started out this morning on this topic on Twitter, and realized I probably should just expound on it here instead.

When we’re out and about, we usually refer to the Monster as “non-verbal”.  I took him with me to a meeting on Thursday night, and one of my friends commented that she doesn’t understand why I refer to him as “non-verbal” when he’s clearly able to speak.

So… Continue reading

Shana Tova 5778

Today being the first day of Rosh Hashanah, we went to shul as a family.

(No, don’t be shocked that I’m on the computer. :p )

Granted, the Monster’s school is closed today for the holiday, more perhaps a function of the number of observant staff than the student body.  It’s slated to be open again tomorrow, and he’ll go to school for his therapies then.  R’s school doesn’t close for the holidays, but he has an excused absence.

And this year, we decided to not just lurk in the quiet room… Continue reading

A Playdate?

One thing that I think all parents of children with special needs worry about is whether or not their child will make friends.

Now, don’t get me wrong – the Monster loves other children.  He likes being around other people, and when the other person is someone familiar, he definitely seems interested in at least saying hi or whatnot… even if he’s not really hot at playing with another person.  But…  playdates are few and far between, because his social skills are so behind the curve.

So imagine our shock when we got a note from another parent, via the camp, asking for a playdate with him. Continue reading

On the Road – Six Flags America (Revisited)

It’s been a while since my family journeyed down to Six Flags.  It’s the nearest amusement park to our house (just barely), and while my wife and I used to have season passes before children, the park hasn’t had as much to offer to our family while both R and the Monster were younger.  But now that both children are north of three feet tall…

Continue reading

Straddling the Sibling Line

The Monster and R dressed for Pirate Day at camp, August 2017

Arrrr, mateys!

R’s in a fairly weird spot – he’s the younger sibling, but by nature of how profound the Monster’s Autism is, he’s oftentimes thrust into the role that a big brother would take.  It’s a lot to shoulder, when you’re five years old.

And… when given the chance, it’s lovely to see how he rises to the challenge. Continue reading